Style Invitational Week 1215: A so-so contest (How so-so is it?) It’s so so-so that . . . / Plus disparaging tweets about historical heroes "Donald Trump is so annoying that ... " -- a joke that got ink in The Style Invitaitonal ... in 1993. (Bob Staake /for The Washington Post ) By Pat Myers By Pat Myers Entertainment February 16 (Click here to skip down <#report> to the winning trash-tweets about historical figures) */All from Style Invitational Week 21, August 1993:/ * *The White House staff is so inexperienced that it has never “been” with another staff. (Meg Sullivan) * *D.C. streets are so badly maintained they have more potholes than Jerry Garcia’s sofa. (Robin Grove)* You have a golden opportunity to win this lovely mug, this week's second prize. (Pat Myers/The Washington Post ) *Donald Trump is so annoying that Amnesty International wants him beaten and locked up. (Tom Gearty)* When the results of this week’s contest run, The Style Invitational will have turned 24 years old. And since Week 1 — in virtually every kind of contest we’ve come up with — entrants to the Invite have always figured out a way to slip in zingy jokes about politics, celebrities and whatever else was grabbing headlines that week. This week the Empress reprises a contest we hadn’t done since Year 1. The results then were almost all about current events — but as you see above, some of them have proved remarkably long-lived, even if they were referring to the start of the Clinton administration and some loudmouth casino mogul. *This week: Write a humorous exaggeration in the form “x is so y that .  . . ” *as in the examples above. *WEEK 1214 UPDATE: * The Empress was alerted a few days ago by alert non-Loser Rich Strimel that the transcript of the inaugural address we’re using for the *Week 1214 *contest contained a typo: It said “they will their heart”; it should be “they fill their heart.” It’s now correct at *bit.ly/trump-address*. Deadline is still Tuesday night, Feb. 21. *Submit entries at this website: * *bit.ly/enter-invite-1215 * (all lowercase). *Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial ,* the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place gets a little white toilet-shaped mug promoting “King of Thrones,” a 2013 cable series on bathroom renovations that was so quickly forgotten, it lacks a Wikipedia entry. Donated by WaPo TV critic Hank Stuever, who knows what to do with promotional toilet mugs that come his way. AND the E will toss in “Rattlesnake Poop” (chocolate-covered sunflower seeds), donated by Cheryl Davis, AND “Moose Droppings” (little chocolate nuggets), donated by Duncan Stevens. *Other runners-up *win the yearned-for “This Is Your Brain on Mugs” Loser mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Punmanship.” Honorable mentions get one of our new lusted-after Loser magnets, “No Childishness Left Behind” or “Magnum Dopus.” First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). Deadline is Monday night, Feb. 27; results published March 19 (online March 16). See general contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules . The headline for this week’s results is by Tom Witte; the honorable-mentions subhead is by Jeff Contompasis. This week’s contest is based on a suggestion by Ken Gallant. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /on.fb.me/invdev ./ “Like” Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at /bit.ly/inkofday; / follow @StyleInvite on Twitter. *The Style Conversational *The Empress’s weekly online column, published late Thursday afternoon, discusses each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at wapo.st/styleconv . And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . . *YOUR TWEETING HAR: REPORT FROM WEEK 1211* In *Week 1211, *inspired by, oh, I don’t know, we asked for disparaging tweets of celebrated historical or literary figures. Some of the inking entries below were “written” by particular people; if there isn’t an attribution, think of them as coming from any old time-warped (and otherwise warped) shallow narcissist with a ridiculous sense of perspective. 4th place *@OskarSchindler* so inept! Factories lost money. Freeloader “workers” didn’t build munitions. On my weak list. (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.) 3rd place If *@Muhammad* is such a big deal, why isn’t his picture on any coins? Not to mention six-foot portraits. (Kevin Dopart, Washington) 2nd place and the Fishin’ for Floaters bathtub game: @VladP 1/20/17: Take that, *@Jim Henson.* #TheRealPuppetMaster (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.) And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial: Looks like *@TheMessiah*’s getting delusions of grandeur. Thinks he’s @RealDonaldTrump. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.) Social notwork: honorable mentions Can’t believe *@TJefferson* spent $15M on Louisiana Territory! Very bad deal. Should have just grabbed it and made France pay. (Gil Glass, Washington) *@ALincoln, *so low-energy! 4 scores in 7 years? LAME! I can do better at one pageant! (Sean Doherty, Silver Spring, Md., a First Offender) Such a nasty woman,*@Cleopatra. *A real snake! Nice asp, though. (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.; Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.) Clueless *@Julius* turned into Caesar salad, blames @2Brutus. Still won’t call it by its name: Radical Pre-Islamic Terrorism. (Gary Crockett) Hey,*@LudwigVB*, I hear you wrote another symphony. Too bad YOU can’t. #okbadjoke (Edmund Conti, Raleigh) Hey *@DurgCaveman,* you fire no big as me fire. GOL! #ThargBestKnuckleDragger (Jesse Frankovich) My @ColCusterCavalry is biggest! My secret plan is the best. I have greatest hair ever. *#SittingBulls--t* will FAIL! (Art Grinath, Takoma Park, Md.) Delusional *@Dorothy*. Icky farmhand fantasies. And that mangy mutt! #lockhimup — @ThE_Gulch (Kevin Dopart) Dim bulb *@TAEdison* tries 9,000th filament, still nothing. I win historic victory with #gaslighting. (Gary Crockett) *@Edward VII*I, big league loser. Gave up throne for some p*. Throne GETS you p*, dumb duke! (Lynne Larkin, Vero Beach, Fla.) Hey *@mc_escher*, I’m in your building but can’t seem to make it up these damn stairs. Something is *@&( up. #NotUpToCode (Jeff Brechlin, Apple Valley, Minn.) *@FrodoBaggins* wasted perfectly good jewelry by throwing it in a volcano. Give it to Goodwill and get the tax break! #dramaqueen (Duncan Stevens) *@Gandhi* u 2 skinny bra #haveaburger (Jamie Johnson, Fayetteville, W.Va., a First Offender) Some POTUS *@GWashington* turns out 2 be! There goes another silver $ into the river. #taxandspend — @Grover_Norquift (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.) You’ve gotta see this *@FDR* guy -- what a lame leader. Lets his aides push him around. Wife is a 2. Pathetic. (Marleen May, Rockville, Md.) Saw *@HelenKeller* today. Called & waved to her but no acknowledgment. Rude! Democrat? (Larry McClemons, Annandale, Va.) Just 5K people, *@Jesus*? You even gave out fish sandwiches. My crowd 10,000x bigger — see the photo. (Hugh Thirlway, The Hague) Failing fiddler *@JoshuaBell* plays in train stations, makes just $32! Embarrassing. (Alison Candela, Rockville, Md., a First Offender) Overrated *@Gehrig* “luckiest man”? Sorry, buddy, that position’s been filled. (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.) Only 1 life to give for his country? *@Nathan Hale* has no stamina! (Frank Mann, Washington; Elliott Shevin, Oak Park, Mich.) *@OliverTwist* always asking for more handouts! Welfare prince exploits hard-working job creators. (Duncan Stevens) *@Shakespeare:* All codpiece and naught but the limpest cod. – @SirFrancisBacon (Jeff Hazle, San Antonio) *@Spidey* sense? If he had any sense, he’d clear the webs from his head and finally boink Mary Jane. (Roger Dalrymple, Gettysburg, Pa.) *@Sun Tzu* says the supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. Wuss. — @GenghisK (Chris Doyle) Rough Rider? Please,*@TRoosevelt. *@CatherineTheGr8 could ride better upside down and backwards. — @VPutin (Jeff Hazle) Hey, *@Yoda,* why can’t you use #TheForce to help you speak properly? Because stupid you sound. (Todd DeLap, Fairfax) @RealFDR, 12/5/1941: Emperor *@Hirohito* is totally overrated! More like ZEROhito. (Eric LeVasseur, Seal Beach, Calif., a First Offender) *@AlmightyGod* takes foreverrr to get to work, then quits in 6 days. All the shows say he’s over. — @Lucifer (Kevin Dopart) *@Hemingway *sober up and maybe then you could write a sentence of more than six words before nodding off — @JamesJoyce *@JamesJoyce,* it’s called punctuation. Try it some time. Ulysses = best doorstop I never read. — @Hemingway (John Hutchins, Silver Spring, Md.)